Girls just wanna have fun!

Last week Papa Roach was in town.  Now I love Jacoby and the boys and I have went to see them each and every time they have been in town since 2007, I have even flown my girls and I out to Cali to see them but this time I was bowing out, Daddy agreed to take the young one.  Well never rely on a teenager to know the right date of a concert!!!  As it turned out they were going to purchase their tickets when I heard on the radio they were coming the next night, not over the weekend as they suspected.  And you guessed it --- scheduling conflict with her Daddy's schedule......................  So do you disappoint the poor heartbroken teen or do you become the superhero and take her????  Of course I buckled :)   I was regretting anyway that I had decided to back out so even though I didn't sound excited about going I really was.  Now the real reason I was telling this story was because while we were standing in front row in front of the speaker (her favorite spot) the funniest thing happened.  The opening band was a really heavy metal band and I noticed a tickling in my stomach....  It was the band and the port!!!!!  The music was soooooo loud in front of the speaker it was vibrating the new hardware inside, crazy huh?????  We had SOOO much fun together and didn't get home til past midnight on a schoolnight!!! Boy were we tired the next day. 

I got some good news the other day!  Last week I wasn't feeling good and was really worried the heat was bringing this crappy feeling back and was getting really discouraged.  While I was grocery shopping I decided to test my b/p on one of those little machines they have, it was 108/42.  I showed the hubbie and he said the machine must be wrong and we walked around a bit and did it again, same results.  I commented I needed to call the dr but didn't really think about it the next day.  Well on Mother's day I got that feeling again in a different grocery store so I tested again, same results!  I decided Monday to monitor it with our b/p monitor at work and we watched it fall over a few hours in the morning so I called the dr.  Do you wanna get squeezed in quickly at a dr's office, call and say you are having b/p problems.  My PCP saw me immediately and it was a quick fix --- get off your BP meds you were on before you lost all the weight!!!  He was also really excited for me that I have had such a success with the band that he didn't even know I got.  I guess I have been going to just my specialists over the last year b/c the last time I saw him was 2 weeks pre-band.  I was shocked!!!!!  That means I have not been "sick" in almost a year :) :) :) :)    Now that's a NSV!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it!!!!!!!

I successfully walked 5 miles on Sunday with Team Ella for the March of Dimes walk in Houston and it didn't wear me out!!!!!  Ella Kathleen is the daughter of two very special friends of mine.  She was born about two months early (the same week I got my band) and weighed in a little over 3 lbs.  She unexpectedly became an angel in heaven at the age of 3 months.  A group of us got together and rallied around her parents, deciding we were going to do the MOD walk in her honor.  It was emotional in the beginning, knowing why were were there, but it was sooo much fun.  We didn't rush, we just strolled the five mile walk (there were a few little one's with us).  The last two times I did this particular walk I was pregnant with each of my girls and it was hell so needless to say, I was really dreading waking up Sunday morning but I did it and I plan on doing it year after year as long as Team Ella is around. (and just for the record I wasn't even sore on Monday).  It was nice having my youngest daughter (16) walking with our group as the two of us were also walking for her soccer coach's twins, Karsyn and Kaden, who were born at 24 weeks gestation and are currently in the NICU getting bigger so they can come home. Shout out to Team Brewer! 

Team Ella (we rocked!)

I had a really stressful weekend, putting our house on the market, then the walk and the scale really showed it.  I haven't seen a number that low in YEARS.  I knew it was probably dehydration so I didn't do that much of a happy dance.  Now that it's been a few days I have leveled out back at that .8 oz number.  Oh well, it could be worse.  I think I might go walk another 5 miles and see what happens............

As far as the Hashi's goes, it's still there!  It rears it's ugly head every once in a while but nothing like it was in the past!!!!!  I am managing alot of the symptoms with the weight loss and medication and also knowing my limits.  I cannot drink like I used to as I don't recover as easy (as I told my boss when I requested Friday off since I am going to House of Blues Thurs night and I know it may be a late night)!!!  I cannot over exert myself and sometimes I just gotta slow it down and rest a bit. There are still days when I don't want to get out of bed, but I do and I just keep trucking along.  I am really dreading the summer though.  Two Saturdays ago when I was working the Farmer's Market it got up to about 80 for an hour and I thought I was gonna pass out, after we were done I just had to go home and sleep then I was all good again.  Gone are the days where I think it might be the last and I am very thankful for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nooooo....

It came, I saw it then it went away!!!  I cleared the scale and checked it twice -- 8oz away from that personal goal then what happened --- the next day I wake up and gained three pounds!!! What---how in the world did this happen????  I was really busy that day so I didn't eat much.  I ordered my Starbux non-fat....... what did I do????????  Well I think I finally may have figured it out.  I ran out of medicine and I guess my body gets a little bitchy when I don't medicate it.  I started taking it again today (see, I told you have have been too busy) and already kicked away one of those pesky pounds :)   Hopefully tomorrow morning will do alot better.

I was reading Gen's blog and it reminded me a little more about what the doctor said in support --- don't over excercise.  Hmmm I thought we were suppose to.  He said you will begin gaining weight if you excercise too much.  Just walk or ride a bike or do mild cardio, which reminds me I still have to get back into a relationship with my Wii Active.  Also, he is trying to cut a womens calorie count down to 800 - 1000.  He looked at me and said I shouldnt eat more than 800 calories a day -- that is a cup of coffee for me, what is he smoking??????   C'mon be a little serious here.  And finally, we don't have to over protein anymore.  We asked him to rewrite the instruction manual for us because it was against everything we've ever followed.    He did have one good piece of advice which cracked everyone up --- first thing in the morning when you wake up get naked and pee, step on the scale and look at your weight.  That is the lowest weight you will be for the day and take it from there.  I especially laughed super hard because that is exactly what I do every morning...................... and on that note -- goodnight blogger friends :)

ps:  I am doing the 5 mile walk for babies on Sunday.  I am really excited because this is the first real physical challenge I have done since all this started in 2007ish.  I hope I make it!!!

In Loving Memory of Ella Kathleen, we miss you!

A mini can of Budweiser......

When we were in NJ for Christmas, I bought my daughter these 8oz cans of Budweiser because we thought there were the cutest damn beers we ever saw.  Now, that can is what I am away from to reach my personal goal when I weighed myself yesterday!!!!!  The first three numbers were there, followed by .8.  I was so excited I went and got a Starbucks before working at the Farmers Market.  I think Fhil and I have finally gotten comfortable together, I can eat food again without them getting super stuck.  I am taking a crash course in eating sloooowwww and chewing, chewing, chewing but at least it's working.  It's really funny that once I got to eat again the plataeu stopped :)

I went to my first support group at my doctors office just to see what they had to say, and since he gets upset if you don't go to support.  I told him I do it online with my blogger friends, they are the best support available!!!!  Anyway he kept saying how you have to DIET, DIET, DIET and even suggested if you are not loosing 2-3lbs a week, go to weight watchers.......... Is he nuts?????  Isn't that why I did this so I would never have to walk into a weight watchers again????   UGH!!!!   But I guess he has a point somewhere, you do have to make good food choices.  It was really funny last week, my food choice consisted of anything you could stuff into a jalepeno ----  did you know that if you beat the hell out of a piece of chicken, de-seed a fresh jalepeno and fill it with cream cheese mixed with orange marmalade and wrap the chicken around the pepper, coat it with those japanese bread crumbs and fry that sucker it is really good??????  But, I could only eat one!!!!  One -- that was it.  I made 3 and ate one. I tried taking the other two to work the next day but not so good, reheated chicked gets stuck so easily, guess because its a little dryer the next day.   I also did some wrapped in steak for the other family members -- they liked them which was a suprise to me!  My pepper kick also consisted of them stuffed with seafood, and in "chip" form -- thats when I decided I was just really craving the ranch dressing!!!!  So after my jalepeno kick I went to Jason's deli to get their salad I love so much -- the nutty mixed up salad.  Now I used to eat this thing in one sitting, hey its a salad!  Now, 3 meals later and I still have 1/4 of it...........  I am tired of eating it!!!!  Salad, go away.............  

So now what to do --- I think I am going to see if I can maybe make another 5 lbs disappear.  When I went to support I looked at the chart on the doctors wall to see what a "healthy" weight was and it said another 20lbs.  Are you freaking kidding me???  I would look sick and anorexic if I took another 20lbs off, not to mention I would have absolutely no boobage left!  That is definately where these last two came from.........   Till we talk again ------

ps: is anyone else getting comments in chinese???  I have tried all my settings to avoid getting them but they keep coming through from an anonymous sender --------  wish they would reveal themselves and convert their comments to English so I can read them!

Found the perfect food......

Snowcrab! It's soft and low fat and you have to work your fingers off between bites so you eat it slow.  My daughter loves it when snowcrab is on sale (which is pretty often now) because she can't get enough of it and she knows I will keep buying it!  Since I've had my last fill food has been a little harder to handle.  In the morning I am lucky to get anything down thicker than a shake.  In the afternoon I noticed as long as it's fresh food and not something like reheated chicken I seem to be ok with it, but still not eating alot.  By dinnertime it's like the band falls off or something and I can eat normal food again, what seems like alot to me but hardly anything in the grand scheme of things!  I really need to excercise to get these last few pounds off to get to my personal goal......... ugh.  I still have not mending my friendship with my Wii Active that I once loved so much, maybe if I take it down a knotch we can become friends again :)

I did alot of clothes shopping last week, since my pants were falling off while I walk!  NY&Co has discontinued the pants that I love so much so I must find a new style.  I'm hoping they will come out with their capri line soon, as its getting to be that time of year.  I was pretty excited to shop in stores I have never been able to walk in before, so I got some cutsie kinda stuff. I'll let you know how the reveal goes when I start wearing them, I have to accessorize first (wow that is really weird for me to say, I was not that much into being fashionable before).  Oh Gen, I forgot to tell you -- there is a VS outlet store by my daughter's school.  When we went to see her over Easter weekend I paid it a visit --- ready ----- 14.99 any bra in the store!!!!!!  Of course they only had one in my size that was cute and worth buying.  Can't wait to get one size smaller, I don't think anyone was buying those!  They also had lots of makeup for 3.00/item, was not really happy with the quality of the mascara but oh well, what can I say for 3.00.

Goodnight everyone and hope your all doing well : )

Here is a pic of me in the Forever 21 shirt --- can only see a little bit of it!

Short post!

This post will be short because I am super tired tonight but I remembered I forgot to tell everyone what the neuro said when she gave me the gold star ----  remember back in the beginning I got the band as an experiment to see if I could somehow control the effects of the auto-immune disease without the harsh treatment I was about to endure.  My endo said not to expect big results, maybe 20lbs - 25 at the most but we will get back to that in a minute.  Here is what my neuro said had happened to me in a nutshell ------  The Hashimoto's made me gain weight at a rapid pace, causing a sleep disorder that went undetected for about 2 years.  This sleep disorder was causing my brain not to oxygenate at night which resulted in a reversible form of "brain damage", causing my body to basically short circuit.  The uppers I was on to try and stay awake caused the bloodpressure to skyrocket and finally the insulin resistance kicked in. Whew that was alot!!!!  Since I have lost the weight the blood pressure is normal, hopefully will be off the meds in a few months. The insulin resistance has pretty much gone away, cut back to one pill that I will hopefully be off of next visit and the "brain damage" has all been reversed and as soon as the weight stabilizes we will do another test to see if I can give up my CPAP.  Now, this will be the hardest as I think of it as a lifeline!!!!!  

So with all that being said, lets get back to them 20 - 25lbs.  I officially hit a loss of 50 yesterday!!!!!!!!!  I never thought I would see that day and it feels great.  Had I known the surgery was going to make me feel this good I would have done it 2 years ago.  We were doing some massive closet cleaning a couple of weekends ago and my older daughter left a closet full of clothes when she left for college.  I tried a few things on and they fit!  When we went to see her last weekend her sister told her about it.  She took me to her closet and "cleaned" it out for me.  I was soooo excited Easter morning when I put a shirt on she gave me and IT FIT!  From Forever 21.......  I have a shirt from Forever 21!!!!!  Do you know what that means??? I now can share some clothes with both my daughters.......... hmmmm who will benefit from this, them or me???!!!!!  Sounds like we may have to go shopping more often.

Wow it's been a while!

They cut our blogging ability off at work and I feel like it's been forever since I've been on here!!!  I have figured out how to follow my blogs on my blackberry so I still can still keep up with everyone else :)

So much has happened since my last post, here is a short rundown:

Went back home in December and saw some family and friends I haven't seen in almost 20 years.  Got totally homesick and went into a real bizzare mood swing!  It was strange because I've been back so many times in the past but I guess getting reconnected with the other side of the family and staying in the town for two days really made me miss being there alot.  We also had a blast because the first blizzard hit while we were there!

Sidenote on this topic, one thing I have noticed is how my brain is so easy to rewire lately.  It's really hard to explain but some things I used to love to do months ago, I could care less about now.  I think that may be what happened to blogging too!  It's like someone said something negative about it just in general and my brain really doesn't want to do it. I used to love the Wii Active and faithfully did the workout every day.  I had one bad workout and now that's it, game over.  It's really bizarre how it wants to kinda reprogram my personality.  This all seems to be related to the auto-immune disease but now that I'm aware of it I can kinda deter it.

Also in December I had an appointment with the neuro and she was so impressed with my progess I got a gold star!  It's amazing how far I've come in just a short time.  She released me for 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am thinking about selling my house and moving close to the water --- it's such a hard decision right now because I still love the house I am in but I really like the new house too!

Now onto the scale front --- I was stuck at the same weight for almost a month, which I was ok with because it was over the holiday season.  I lost a little bit after the first of the year then got stuck again.  I went and got a baby fill last week and I am now I'm 3.8 lbs away from my personal goal!  The doctor thought I should have lost more since Christmas and was upset for me not eating better food choices, as he put it.  I really wasn't to worried about it because again, this is not a race for me!  If I want to enjoy something bad for me I will from time to time,  it's not like I can really eat that much of it anyway........ I realized that I got stuck right after not reading everyone's blogs for a while.  Believe it or not, this is one of the best support groups you can find.  You may not realize it while you are reading day to day but cut it off for a little bit and whoa, it really mades a difference.  Thanks goodness for my BB.   I am really excited to be this close to my personal goal but I may tweek it a little lower to see how it goes.  For the first time in many many years I am into a size 10!  Now there is a NSV if I've ever seen one and I am truly happy about it!!!!!

Congrats to Tess for finally getting Pearl!  Hope she is everything you ever imagined her to be (and I'm sure she will be!)